Thursday, July 17, 2008

Shorter Electronic Entertainment Expo

Who has time to read painstaking, thorough reports filed from the E3 showfloor by some of the hardest working writers around? Here's your brief but indispensable show digest, by a guy who wasn't even there.*

Shorter Resident Evil 5:
You bet we've got exploding barrels.
Shorter Jeremy Parish:
I am now carrying Mega Man's child.
Shorter Texas Governor Rick Perry:
I was elected too late to help Ion Storm, but we can still save Midway Austin!
Shorter Square Enix:
Although we care deeply about our reputation on NeoGAF, we also value our continued existence as a company.
Shorter Nintendo:
"I'm Keith Hernandez."
Shorter Microsoft:
You can stream movies from Netflix absolutely free -- provided you're paying $50 a year for an Xbox Live Gold account, and at least $8.99 a month to Netflix.
Shorter Sony:
It little profits that an idle king,
By this still hearth, among these barren crags,
Match'd with an aged wife, I mete and dole
Unequal laws unto a savage race,
That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me.
*You may think I stole this conceit from Penny Arcade, but in fact I stole it from Sadly, No!, who themselves stole it from some damn place or another.


Daniel Purvis said...

Well, that's pretty much all there is to it.

I keep getting emails from PR guys wondering whether I'll be posting news that was announced at E3.

I keep telling them I'll summarise E3 in a post come the end of the week.

Now, I'm thinking I might just link to this instead ;)

Anonymous said...

Actually, as far as I know, XBL Gold is only for multiplayer...everything else is covered under silver, which is free. Which means, you can watch Netflix on your console for free if you're already a member of Netflix.

Sounds like such a better service without the fanboy-ism, doesn't it?

Mitch Krpata said...

Anon, from the press release: "This movie watching innovation will be available to Xbox LIVE Gold members who are also Netflix subscribers and will let those users enjoy streaming movies from Netflix on Xbox LIVE at no additional cost." (via Kotaku)

Elicia Mullin Basoli said...

If only all media we consume were summarized into short statements that were easily digestible...the world would be a happier place :-)