Shorter Resident Evil 5:
You bet we've got exploding barrels.Shorter Jeremy Parish:
I am now carrying Mega Man's child.Shorter Texas Governor Rick Perry:
I was elected too late to help Ion Storm, but we can still save Midway Austin!Shorter Square Enix:
Although we care deeply about our reputation on NeoGAF, we also value our continued existence as a company.Shorter Nintendo:
"I'm Keith Hernandez."Shorter Microsoft:
You can stream movies from Netflix absolutely free -- provided you're paying $50 a year for an Xbox Live Gold account, and at least $8.99 a month to Netflix.Shorter Sony:
It little profits that an idle king,*You may think I stole this conceit from Penny Arcade, but in fact I stole it from Sadly, No!, who themselves stole it from some damn place or another.
By this still hearth, among these barren crags,
Match'd with an aged wife, I mete and dole
Unequal laws unto a savage race,
That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me.