I am excited about next week's release of The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena, and not just because I can't resist Vin Diesel's smooth, gleaming scalp. Starbreeze earned a lifetime pass from me with The Darkness, one of my favorite games of 2007, and one of the few video games that ever truly moved me. Whatever they do next, I'm into it. But do the commenters at Gamestop.com agree?
"RedCell Lives!" gets things started with this dispatch from Bizarro World:
I mean, if it's as awesome as the 3rd and final movie in the trilogy it'll be amazing, I mean it's freaking Riddick, but if its like escape from butcher bay (Terrible Game) then i'll be disappointed, because I would really like to c a great game about one of the most amazing Psychotic killers of the movie genre.
Not to form an opinion before I even play the game, but I have this sneaking suspicion that Assault on Dark Athena will, somehow, top the non-existent third Riddick movie. Unless RedCell Lives! is making the ironic comment that even nothing would be better than another game like Escape from Butcher Bay, in which case don't I feel dumb. (And not to form an opinion about another game I haven't played, but "terrible?" Really?)
"A Customer" is often wrong but never in doubt:
...at first I saw that there was going to be a new riddick game then I saw it is being published and developed by Atari...so The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena will probably be nothing like The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher's Bay..why you ask? The latter was developed by Vivendi Universal and published by Microsoft. Such a shame to see a great title like Riddick be sold off to the highest bidder.
Usually these previews are chock full of people's better judgment getting overwhelmed by their enthusiasm. But this is different. These guys are just making shit up. I haven't seen anybody lie with so much confidence since Bill Kristol had a column in The New York Times.
Alternate endings to the sentence "I haven't seen anybody lie with so much confidence since __________":
- Colin Powell's presentation to the UN about Iraqi WMDs.
- Denis Dyack posted about Too Human on NeoGAF.
- I explained to my wife that spending all my free time writing a blog about video games was a sure path to financial freedom.
"Master Ninja 84" provides some semblance of normalcy:
Before i played the original on xbox, I never heard of Starbreeze. Now, after that game and The Darkness to me personally they are a household name. I'm always impressed with what these guys do, and will always be impressed. To put it simply (too late), I can' t wait for this game to be released on the masses. Once again, the guys at Starbreeze are proving to us again why their games are always worth the wait.
Okay, I have a confession: I am Master Ninja 84. I can't wait until Starbreeze releases this game all over me.
"Newnew008" feels the same way:
This is a really great game gonna pre-order right now. If you haven't already seen the demo for this on xbox live you NEED to check it out this will be in my top 10 for 2009 i just know it. Only thing to do now is. wait for release :(
I'm told the release is more satisfying if you make yourself wait for it. Doing math problems in your head might do the trick.
Sometimes it takes a Gamestop.com user to cut through the bullshit. This time it's "starking," who knows exactly what the people want:
i loved the movie and this is definitely going to be one of the most action packed head bashing games of all time.... i mean come on... shoving a tea cup into a guys head is pretty freaking awesome.....
As always, there's nothing else I could say.